You don’t have to go to college. Really. Despite the nagging from everyone around you, despite the looks you might get from the snotty girls from high school (that you never really liked anyway), your decision to go to college is just that, yours. If you want to take a year off to work on yourself, it’s okay. If you want to take a year off to get drunk with your friends, do it. You can go back. You can go later. You can go never. It’s your choice.
When a boy breaks your heart and breaks you, write about it. Don’t worry if other people think it’s weird to scribble poetry on the soles of your shoes or the corner of your math test. When your friends tell you it’s been weeks, get over it, stop talking about it. Write more. Even if no one listens your notebook will. Your pen will. It will help. Eventually you won’t feel shattered, but just a little bit cracked.
Stop telling yourself that you are undeserving of love. Stop convincing yourself that your thighs have too many dimples for anyone to want to kiss. Stop looking in the mirror and believing your eyes are too close together for anyone to call you beautiful. Shut yourself up. Call yourself a kitten, everyone loves kittens. Blow yourself a kiss when you pass mirrors. Write about why you do deserve love. Start believing it.
It’s okay to kiss strangers. It’s okay to kiss the boy that calls you beautiful at the party; it’s okay not to. Don’t worry about what others think is acceptable for you to do with your body. Who you choose to share yourself with is your business. When your friend calls you “slutty” tell her to get lost. Don’t answer her calls. You don’t need that, you don’t need her.
Does your heart ache? Have you been laying in bed for a week? Don’t pretend everything is fine. It isn’t. Deal with it. Cry if you want, call the person that promises to listen, call anyone. Don’t feel bad for feeling bad. Don’t apologize for feeling like a building has collapsed on top of you. Don’t ignore it either. It will not go away without a fight. Fight for yourself. Dig yourself out of the rubble.
Don’t forget the people that never forgot you. Remember to call, remember to message, remember to email, write, sky write. Remember to listen. Remember that no feeling is forever.